Once upon a time there was a boy who was born in the countryside. His parents were both very poor and could not afford to send him to the local school. Wanting to save face when queried about their son's education, the parents told all their neighbors that they valued their son's character above his education and that they would train him themselves. Since neither parent could read or write it was assumed by the neighbors that the son would prove an excellent ditch digger, which he did. Unfortunately, his parents hired him out too early in life and at the age of nineteen his vocabulary matched that of his last year of training ten years ago.
The Simpleton unknowingly shared a birthday with another boy in a village eight miles south. This boy's parents were also not extremely well to do, but placed a high value on the boy's education. He learned to read at three and was working on Latin and Greek by the age of eight. At nine he had mastered algebra and French and was just writing his autobiography. By the time he reached fifteen he had accomplished so many things that his parents were running out of subjects to teach. At sixteen he attended the largest university in the nation and completed his Masters in Every-stinkin-thing-there-is-to-ever-learn-in-the-whole-world in three years. At nineteen he was the most literate person in the country. From a young age the boy felt pressured by his parents and the distance grew as he began to pass them academically. His trip to the University was his final break with them. Now, he was alone in the world, for he could not find anyone his equal intellectually. Several times he came close to have one or two actual friends, but he was such an extremely logical fellow that he discarded them because of several flaws he detected. Alas, no one would be as perfect as he.
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